Earlier this month we celebrated Valentine’s Day. People generally associate Valentine’s Day with romantic love. But this led me to ponder the various forms of love that this day could symbolize.
As an organizational social worker, I thought about how employers could appropriately love and care for their employees by showing a unique kind of love, known as agape love.
Agape is sometimes described as a universal or unconditional love, such as our love for strangers, nature or a higher power. Agape love can include the modern concept of altruism, defined as our unselfish concern for the welfare of others.
Agape love is also associated with better mental and physical health and greater longevity. It helps us build and maintain the psychological, social and environmental fabric that shields, sustains and enriches our communities.
In Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification, the authors talk about a form of agape love as “the capacity to love and be loved” as “valuing close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated; being close to people.”
The US Military Academy found that one of the best predictors of leadership success in cadets was the capacity to give and receive love with a “band of brothers” or a “band of sisters.”
Agape can also be about nurturing deeper connections.
It is my experience the “L” word is very rarely used in the workplace. Some people “love” their work or customers, but rarely do I hear people say they “love” their employees, co-workers, colleagues or boss.
If you’re a supervisor or manager, imagine what your workplace would be like if you practiced agape love with your employees and focused on their well-being, happiness, job satisfaction, resilience and safety. I imagine that would be a pretty good formula for getting work done.
Now imagine what the workplace might look and feel like if more of us demonstrated this kind of love and made it into a personal strength. Rather than feeling taken for granted, employees might feel truly appreciated. Rather than feeling isolated, they might feel more connected to each other. Rather than working on their own individual responsibilities, they might feel more collaborative. And rather than viewing each other as enemies or competitors, they might view each other as friends.
Considering that we often spend more time at work than we do at home, imagine the impact on our physical and emotional well-being, engagement and productivity if we spent more time practicing agape love in the workplace.
According to Gallup, people who trust and get along with their boss or have a best friend at work tend to have a better safety record, receive higher customer satisfaction scores and increased workplace productivity.
When we create crisis management policies or procedures or practice various drills (for fires, active shootings or other critical incidents), we demonstrate a capacity to give and receive this altruistic and environmentally sustaining love.
As an employee assistance program (EAP) consultant, I recently participated in a tabletop exercise with an organization’s leadership team on what to do in the event of an employee’s sudden death. Not more than a week later, a well-known and well-liked employee tragically passed away. Because they were well prepared, they could quickly and competently respond with love for the employee’s family, co-workers, managers and the organization itself.
I personally witnessed individuals, work groups and this entire organization grow psychologically and socially as a result of this training. In addition, their work environment has become safer emotionally, more resilient and better prepared to face whatever comes next.
I encourage you to take time to review your critical incident and crisis response policies. Take time to plan and practice these procedures. And take time to give and receive agape love with those you work with and work for.
As a company leader, ask yourself, “How would it look, feel and sound if more of this kind of love were present?” What would be different and what would remain the same? Keep this in mind when you go to your next staff meeting or one-on-one session.